Get in the Bin

I was at the lights in Broadmoor earlier and a van drove past with the side emblazoned with yet another company who will take your rubbish away. And it occurred to me – they’re privatising the rubbish.

Think about it. We’re forced into the use of all this packaging.. campaign after campaign to use less fails, and companies continue to wrap toys up in twenty layers of cardboard with fifty million metal tags holding the toy into position. We have individually wrapped bananas, which have skin already on them. We have ready peeled oranges, wrapped in clingfilm – and then, you get all this packaging home, and the new rules instruct you to sort all of this out into relevant piles, wash every dog food can, be disciplined, take up your whole kitchen, and then, you end up left with all the stuff that is actually rubbish, because they will only take one black bag per three weeks, and woe betide you if there is an inappropriate item in that see-through black bag. You will be tagged with the tag of shame which declares that your rubbish bag is too contaminated to take away.

Later, you’ll see an article online from The Guardian or something, that tells you all about how this stuff you spent so long sorting out and recycling, gets shipped off to some other country and left on a beach, or gets incinerated, but don’t you dare burn it at home. Why not? Because the particulates are different. We burn stuff better than you can. You will burn it bad, we will burn it good, so give it here, and make sure your shineys aren’t in with your mattes, or you’ll be in big trouble.

Since the new recycling rules came in, a glut of new companies seem to be advertising on facebook to come and take your rubbish away. For a few quid of course. You can’t get to the tip if you don’t have a motor, and you can’t get there now even if you do have a motor, cos they’re closed… cos of Covid. However, there’s a geezer on facebook who can go to the tip for you. Or he can go somewhere. Who cares where he goes, quite frankly? If those bags that have been clogging up your 6 foot by 6 foot outside space, you’ll be very happy to give the fella £2.50 a bag to make it all go away.

And now it’s not just some guy, but it’s big companies, with really smart vans, clearly part of a fleet, new companies cashing in on this priceless opportunity. Remember the old advert? “People will always need plates, Adrian”? – well here’s the 21st century equivalent. People will always generate shit, Adrian. Especially when they’re forced into accepting unreasonable amounts of packaging on every single item they buy.

Look how sneaky this is. The state is supposed to collect the refuse. It’s always been that way. But now, slowly, surely, in the same way that they snipped away at the NHS and hoped no-one would notice, they’re passing this most basic of needs into the hands of private enterprise, and pretty soon, as well as us all having bad teeth, because there are no longer any dentists, we’ll be dealing with piles of trash everywhere and it’ll look like the binman strike, because no one will be able to afford the refuse guys.

There are surely a few wide boys taking liberties at the moment, but once it’s regulated, and becomes a service that is monitored, in the same way the gypsies now have to make you fill in forms when they come for your scrap, there will be beurocracy all over the place, and the service will become expensive, and then the class divide will become evident just not by some with nice houses and some with rubbish houses, but by the amount of black bags there are piling up outside.

Fly tipping is getting out of hand for this reason – all around the country people are dumping their stuff. Roads all over Wales are covered in litter, and at a time where we’re surely supposed to be tidying our act up, we’re making more difficult than ever for normal people to just do something as simple as put something in the bin.

It’s a new saying isn’t it? Get in the bin? Well, get in the bin capitalism. We’ve had enough now.


Published by Tess Delaney

I mostly only come out at night... mostly....

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