You know I went to Brum a couple of weeks back? And I stayed in a hotel? With indoor facilities and a heater? Well, after a rather pleasant drive home to the hills of Wales in the fading sunlight and reaching home as dark fell.. I switched on the light, only to find that the dog sitter had been charging his phone. The light went off after about a minute and half, and I was in the dark. The caravan had been empty since Friday, and so things were damp, as well as dogs taking liberties with the place and the goose having had visited.
There was a bit of charge left on my phone so I watched about half of the MOATS on Sputnik, and then all went dark. And I thought to myself. Bollocks to this.
The next day I looked at the price of flats in Brum while the kettle boiled and now the sun was up. I had driven down road after road of for sale signs, and getting all estate agenty I had a look. Some cheap stuff up there if you go to auction. Shall I move to Brum? Do goats like the city?
So, I carried on looking, and then looked again at places locally, and saw one I’d liked before, but ignored because these things were not concrete in my mind yet. Suddenly, after two nights on dry land, they were. I mailed the agent. Next day I viewed. Next day I offered. Next day it was accepted. Then I had a week or so of paperwork hassles to secure a mortgage and then suddenly. Today, in the nick of time before lockdown as I write this the contracts were sent. And stuff will start happening from…. Now.
You know what they say about light at the end of the tunnel? Well, there finally is some. I’ve been wondering for a long time what to do, and suddenly it all became clear. The kid approves. Two chippies in town and an Indian takeaway? Are you kidding me? The very town where I went to school and where some of my oldest and bestist buddies live, and where there’s a co-op over the road from the place I’m buying and they have cake.
Big kid lives up the road, the folks live five minutes’ drive away, there’s a fair there every October, and there’s swans outside. I know every pub in the town intimately, although not for a very long time. Nostalgia will be the main feeling I’m guessing, along with the glee of pavements when it’s raining and a chemist just up the road. People. Lights. Electricity. Wonderment. I’ve been living like a 17th century peasant, wandering around my land with my led lamp like some 21st century Bronte sister, Tess of the D’Urbervilles, just slightly less tragic, almost to the point of picking a tree, fearful that some being old willow, the rest having ash die back, that the bough will break and you’ll be explaining away two broken legs and a big bruised neck.
I’m not serious. Ok. A little. We’ve perhaps all been to those dark places. But you can’t carry it out when there’s kids and goats involved. You can be frustrated or glad about that. It depends. I think the last two weeks may be what mania looks like. I’ve done it many times. It’s always fun. I’ve never recognised it for what it is before. But ho hum, if it gets stuff done.
I’m beginning to think the whole opd off-grid thing has been one giant nervous breakdown. Where did it begin? When I left Jameston? When I left Narberth? When I split from ‘im indoors? When Gelf dog died? When I lost the shop? When I got stupid horses? I don’t know. Life takes so many turns, it’s hard to know which one brought you to where. Any decision could have changed everything along the way. It’s a lot to contemplate as I drive the miles to my land that I have to drive until other things take over up there. Never let it be said that I didn’t try, and never let it be said that I haven’t lived a thousand lives, and that there’s not room for a thousand more.
Yes, there are plans for my land. For now, that’s classified, but it’s good, and happy, and everyone is catered for. All the Delismurfs are going to be ok. Don’t worry about a thing.
You may have guessed the town. Those close to me already know. Locals will guess. My enemies won’t recognise the clues, and so they can wonder. I wonder if they will still stalk me when I’m gone? I think they may have other things to do.
I’m going home, peeps.